Today is sad and beautiful...

...let me explain.

I found to today (Thursday ) that on Sunday one of my lovely cousins and her beautiful family lost one of there children. As I read the events leading up to the loss I started crying...for two reasons...

1. The sadness they had to go through knowing what was going to happen...
2. The beautiful way they are handling it. The courage and love of their family combined with their faith...are going to be the pillars of strength that will help them get through this tough time.

I feel bad that I haven't stayed in better touch with them over the past few years...I'm about as good at that as blogging...but I want them to know I'm giving them all the love and prayers I can through the universe and beyond, in hopes that it gives them the support they need. I also want to tell them I'm sorry this happened to them and to hold on to each other and the short memories of the time they had to give little Mickey the love, that I'm willing to bet, he knew he already had.

If you read this please offer prayers of peace and love to them and

I'm the worst Blogger...but here's an update!

The house is coming along quite nicely and we should be in by the end of the month. Sometime between Christmas and New Years...I'm thinking my birthday! What a present!! below are just a few of the 200 plus pictures! I hope to get more this weekend. This is just a preview! Work is busy and my health is great! Clayton has been a packing dynamo! I spent last weekend patching holes in walls and we bought a carpet shampooer...the first use will be on this house before we leave it to move into our brand new one!!!!

Hugs and love to all!!

spare bedroom

Front of house living room and family room

kitchen looking into mud room

Kitchen without cabinets yet

basement left side of house

basement back right side of house

Front of the house without siding

back of the house from the kitchen...the fireplace is the hole (back right)

Garage foundation

Back of the house without siding

WOW more than a month Later?!?!?!

Yep...it sure is! Boy have things happend and all of it good. I've been very busy with work, of course. But I have got a great job and keeps me going with new things and old, all of the time. Then of course there is the stuff I do as the president of the theater company that Clayton and I are involved with and I'm starting to get more massage appointments since my foot healed. Oh yea you may not know about that...I broke my foot about 6 weeks ago and have been in a walking cast. I just got out of it. In fact I'm really behind in reading blogs and for those of you who have them...I promise I will catch up!

Coming up will be the full round of tests next week to make sure that the cancer is gone and I'm sure it is. In November I will be hopefully cleared to drive again 6 months after my seizure. I had one during my treatment and the state of Virginia says you can't drive for 6 months and need to be cleared by a neurologist...my appointment is on voting day.

Now for the really big news. WE'RE BUYING AND BUILDING A HOUSE!!!! That's right! We finally will be moving into our own house. I'm attaching pictures in this entry and others to follow so that you can follow the process with us! We have signed all the papers except for the closing papers which will be in December some time.

We got to pick out all of the flooring, the cabinets, the colors in the house and outside including the kind of front porch we wanted!

So let's start with the floor plan...The top floor...

Bedroom 2 is going to be my office and Bedroom 3 is going to be the guest room for which I'm now taking reservations among my family members. Hint Hint.

The Main Floor.....
we took the optional laundry room/mud room and the fireplace.

The drawn in lines are to show the extension that we go as an extra option.

The Basement...

we didn't get the basement bathroom finished but we did finish the big room.

Now I have pics of the DIG, the foundation and the sunset from out back window. So if you are bored you have now been warned and can feel free to leave...however you will miss the pictures!!!

a different dig pic

Pouring of the footing...the houses that you see we face them...

AND NOW FOR SUNSET PICTURES

You see the trees in the background? That will be our constant view...lucky us huh?

9/11 and MORE

Today is “that” day. The day 7 years ago that some folks I knew in the Pentagon lost their lives as a plane crashed into the building. The day that 2 airplanes flew into 2 of the tallest buildings in New York and killed thousands of people. The day where some brave people helped take down a plane that potentially could have killed more. The day that I got to work at Quantico Marine Corps Base and the base was put on lockdown. We were watching the TV to keep up with the up to the minute information. I was trying to get through to my family on the cell phone to let them know I was OK. We were all told to watch the windows for more “planes”.

It took a letter signed by the general of the division I was working for, to have all civilians let on and off the base. I had to get one every day for the rest of the week. I’m sure he didn’t like having to sign all those letters everyday. This morning as I write this, I’m sitting in a staff meeting feeling that the “pause for a moment of silence” was not enough. Today the new memorial at the Pentagon will be unveiled and Clayton and I will stop by some time this week to see it.

7 years later it’s much better news! This week we signed the paperwork for the new house!!! We are having it built in a community development out in Gainseville, VA. It’s about 30 miles West of where we are now. So now we are choosing colors and flooring and siding and all that stuff before they break ground. We are hoping to move in December. I will be adding pictures as we get them. My boss Cathy lives about 3 blocks from where we are building and will be taking pictures throughout the build process.

Let me tell you, for those of you who have bought a house you know how much stress buying a house is. And it’s SCAREY!!!!! I’ve never bought more than a car and now I’m buying a HOUSE! I have, at the age of 47, grown into a little bit more of an adult…Don’t worry tho’ I still haven’t totally grown up…

The latest development health wise is that 2 ½ weeks ago I was helping Clayton put up signs for the Yard Sale we were having and in the dark I stepped into a ditch drain and fractured the right side of my right foot! I’ve been in a walking cast for the past 2 weeks and will continue to do so for 2 more. The Dr. said that it was minor and that it should heal without problems. You have to hear this story.

So 2 hours before we go out to hang up signs, I get a call from my friend Marion, who the day before, had fallen while carrying her grandchild and broke something on each leg/foot and messed up one of her knees. I said that I would come visit her in the hospital over that weekend. Little did I know…So after my accident happened, Clayton asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. I said no let’s just see how my foot is because although it hurt I could limp around so I figured that it wasn’t broken.

Well I laid in bed all night and at 5 a.m. (about the time I knew he planned on getting up and getting ready for the sale) I said to Clayton, “Alright take me to the hospital ER drop me off and go back to the yard sale, and I’ll wait for you to come get me when the help we are expecting arrives” So we did…first of all the helper never showed up…However, at about 6:30 a.m. I was done and I said to the nurse…”You know there is a lady in this hospital that called me 2 hours before this happened and told me she was here and had her own broken bones. So I’m going to go up and visit”! The Nurse was quite helpful…she even helped me up there! So at 6:30 in the morning, I was knocking on her hospital room saying “Wake up lady, it’s your fault this happened you jinxed me”! And from her hospital bed she was laughing her butt off!!!! We chatted until about 10:30 that morning until some friends of mine came by and picked me up and took me home….WOW!!!!

Ever onward…I go back to the Cancer Institute in October for my first follow up after having been told that the Cancer was gone. There will of course be tests and such, but I’m sure all will be fine.

I want to thank everyone again who offered up prayers, help with rides, food, cards and everything else during that time. Clayton and I will never forget the love and support that we got during that time and continue to get occasionally from folks who are just “checking in”. We love you all and give thanks to Higher Power everyday for all of you!

I’m very busy with work now that I’m back full time but only 3 days a week in the office with 2 days of telecommuting. Boy are they glad I’m back the workload has got me maxed out and the meeting is winding down and I now have to go upstairs to my office and get back to work...l8r

Catching up after a month

A couple of things...I'm feeling much better and my health is improving. As most of you know I went home to visit my parents to work on recouperating a little bit and get a new family picture. That is where I've had a hard time giving an update to my blog and here's why. Blogs are supposed to be honest and tell people about how things affect them...that's what I did with the whole cancer trip. During which I learned a lot about my self and shared with you all. So in talking about my trip home which by the way was great...how do I explain about how great it was, without talking about my hurt feelings and the way it affects an entire family as well as myself without causing more pain.

Do I let it go? Yes...but I still have to mention it to get it out and by the time I get through writing it I'm have going to mention everyone who made the time I was there great and that will be a better memory.

So on with the show!!!!!

Mom and Dad met me at the airport in Salt Lake (on Saturday). We started for home and had a great conversation all the way home, stopped for food, (which became a running theme all week lol) finally got home and just chatted and relaxed. I did a lot of resting while I was there. Mom had a special bed delivered from a medical company so I would have a place to sleep since the house was a little crowded. My brother Zac was home with his girlfriend and My brother Damon is living there so those 2 bedrooms were taken and my sister and her 2 kids (Carson and Ashton) had the other bedroom so I got the one room with the big screen TV!!!! Whoo Hooooo! That definately gave me the advantage and I loved it.

Side story!!! While Home I thought I would be the good uncle and take Carson and Ashton along with my sister (their mom) Julie to go see the incredible Hulk movie...Holy Crap Batman!!!! Why didn't anyone tell me not to take two little kids to a movie...I thought it would totally hold their concentration...WRONG!!!!! When we got home my mom and dad looked me straight in the eye and asked how was it? I asked for valium, which had them rolling on the floor with laughter because they new why I wanted it and basically what had happened...the 2 boys then earned the name Crashton...more for that experience than the fact that I could never get their names out right the first time.

The next day was Fathers day and we went to my brother Kimball's house. His family is awesome, especially his wife Leslie who has the most beautiful yard and she works and she takes care of the kids and on top of all that made a Fathers day dinner for my Dad and invited me and mom and others (some who had other commitments) but she had a tremendous amount of food and it was a beautiful day. She is some hostess let me tell you!

Sitting in her beautiful yard that really should be in home and gardens gave me an idea! Since we couldn't get everyone together for a family picture on the same day, family is way to big and getting them together on the same day is nigh impossible. When mom and dad tried to find a place there wasn't even one where they could hold us all.

So anyway I thought what if we used Leslie's beautiful yard as the backdrop and took individual pitures of each of the families then I could composit them together over the backdrop using photoshop! Good idea because the families could all come over and against a easily removed backdrop take their picture so one by one we got them all except one (which is where I got my feelings hurt...but not to be discussed now) Once I get the composit together it will look great! I also got to see most of my family! I got to visit with my brother Eric and his wife Valecia who once again is just a lovely person. My sister Wendy just had a baby (mason) who has had some health problems but she brought him over with her husband who was just a very nice guy and took to taking care of that baby like a real dad!

Most of them made a tremendous effort to work with mom and I to get this done. Then other family members started showing up! My Aunt Dee came down from Logan Ut which is 3 hours a way to spend the afternoon with me and just to visit. She brought her grand son and they, mom and I went out for lunch. Then she drove back to Logan (by herself with the baby) but I thought it really was awsome that she would come down just to visit! Then 2 of my other aunts did the Same, Aunt Sharon came down and we went to a seafood restaraunt with mom and dad and had a great visit and then the next day Aunt Rhonda brought her beautiful teenage daughters down (another 3-4 hour trip) and we went and had sushi together! During this time my Aunt Kaye who lives down the road from my mom came to visit a couple of times. It really blew me away that family would come from so far to visit and short visits to! Too Short! Next time we will try and plan it better and I've also committed to come home once a year for a visit.

OK now back to other members of the family. My sister in-law Katy and my brother Dan had me over for dinner while we took the pictures and I got a real big surprise! My Brother Damon's ex-wife Cindy and children came and visited as well so we all had a great time catching up. I hadn't seen Cindy and the kids for a number of years and I got to get their picture as well so I can add it and it was great to be able to visit and catch up! Cindy hasn't aged a day but those kids sure have grown! They have jobs and drivers licenses and stuff that are all indicators of them reaching adult hood and I'm feeling just a tad old.

Katy's food was great and she was a great hostess even tho she said she wasn't...well phooey to that she was great. The one thing I did miss was not getting to meet her mom Susan. There was a reason why she didn't make it but I don't remember what it was. I kept trying to find time to even remember to at least meet her and failed miserably which I hope she can forgive me for.

I got together with 2 of my high school friends Alira and Joy...once again lunch and food where involved along with the visit...it was awesome to see them again it's been far to long.

I didn't get to see my brother Brian since there are some legal issues going on with him (no I will not go into detail about his life...that's his business) My sister Marchell and her new husband along with kids I missed because she was still honeymooning and working two jobs and was 5 hours away!!! But I did get to see here oldest daughter Laura Lee, her fiancee and my great neice for a visit once again totally lovely!!

In between all of this we did some clothes shopping because nothing I had fit for work when I got back on that Monday...Mom and I were always running errands which in a way helped me because I got some exercise in as well as getting all the cleansing herbs and stuff to help me get better and I am. I wish I could have seen the Arizona Side of the family but they are just to far away and I will have to make time later especially since my cousins on that side of the line I haven't seen in a while.

Ok I'm going to make this as easy as possible. I got to talk to my brother Denis but that's it and not the rest of his family. I'm letting it go and I thank him for taking the time that he could. I'm letting the rest of it go

That's it for now

Puberty???? Again!!!!

So...when you have chemo and radiation, all your hair on your head and body just sort of disappears...then one day you feel the top of your head and you feel some peach fuzz. Yea! my hair is growing back...but that's not all...it's growing everywhere else as well! I swear it's just like puberty! I got 10 types of excited the other day when the dark smudge on my upperlip that I tried to wash away didn't and I realized that it was peachfuzz!!! just like when I was in high school!! I am glad however, that the rest of the stuff that comes with puberty doesn't re-appear...lol.

So I have 2 radiation treatments left, today and tomorrow...then I'm DONE!!!! I have regular Doctor appointments and such but for the most part I'm DONE!!!! Woo Hoo!!!

Saturday I'm going to leave for UT to stay with my parents for a week and let my mom "Fuss" over me and help me get rid of some of the side affects of treatments. A lot of my family members are coming from different locations to see me which will be great! and I hope to come back feeling much better and in tune with my self. We are also going to be taking a family picture as well. It will also be the first father's day in quite a number of years that I will be home for. I'm already prepared with a fathers day gift to take with me.

You may have read in Clayton's blog that I did have some problem last week with my side where they were doing some of the radiation. But they took an x-ray and couldn't see anything and I think it's starting to go away so I think I just pulled a muscle. They said that things like that could happen during the treatment so for now I think it's OK.

F.A.C.T.S. is really picking up steam!! Thursday we review the first draft of the Non-Profit paperwork and I have already been talking with loads of people on what can be done for fund raisers, putting lists of people together, getting a website put together and even one person is helping me with a List Server for mass e-mailings. So look for things to be happening on this and YOU WILL BE GETTING EMAILS ASKING FOR HELP :-).

The Docs are letting me go back to work part time starting on the 23rd I won't be able to work more than 15-20 hours a week for the next couple of months but I can work from home for most of it and I have a summer intern that I've had for the past 2 years who is back to help so she will be helping me take up some of the slack.

That's about it for now...I'm going to start packing for my trip and my ride should be here in a little while to take me to my treatment (still can't drive by myself until Nov....arrrrggghhh)

Peace out!
Scott

Coming out of the Dark

Hey All!


There is a Chinese curse that says "may you live in interesting times" Well up until recently that's what it's been like. And in a lot of ways it will continue that way for a while. So here is the basic gist of what has happened and then I'm going to expand on thought processes simply because I have a lot in my head and I feel that now is the time to get it all out...I'm going to give you some advance warning....this particular blog needs to be written and it won't be pretty. But let me tell you why I'm doing all of this self revelation. Once again I've lived through something that could have killed me and this isn't the first time...But I get ahead of my self...

AND THAT WAS YESTERDAY AND NOW IT'S A NEW DAY. Yesterday I felt like my whole rational world was caving in.


today???


My brain goes on these tangents where no matter how hard I try to see the good in a day I can't. I swear it's because of the pills I'm on but I still have things that need to be answered. Like, why do I survive things that could have/should have probably killed me like Alcoholism, Cancer, Crohns, multiple nut allergies, multiple accidents that I walked away from and should have died and yet I'm still here...Would someone who has an ear to God tell me WHY??? Surely I've got something to do to add to the positive nature of the Universe, I can't just be kept here out of some sick need to see how much Scott can handle!!!

It's now 3 days later....boy am I having trouble writing this....

OK...so now it's Saturday...I've been through a week of radiation treatments. I really don't feel any worse for the wear, just tired and a little bitchy. So for the past couple of days I've tried to get out and get some sun. I'm limited to the time I can be out but the Radiation Oncology unit gave me some SPF25 to put on and I can now stay out a little longer. Nausea is my worst enemy and I hate that sometimes Clayton gets the brunt of my Anger, Pity, moodiness, what ever you want to call it.

So last night the theater company that I'm President of (Clayton is VP but is leaving the board soon) has a show that is up called "House of Blue Leaves" it's a comedy. I needed to laugh, so this time I pushed the envelope a little and had Clayton drop me off and told him to go ahead and go home and I would find a ride home. I needed this little push of Independence since I can't (am not supposed to be) alone because of the seizures. For those of you who don't know; about a month a go I surprised everyone by having a sudden seizure. I woke up in an ambulance trying to answer questions that I was supposed to know the answer for but couldn't remember. Clayton kept his cool but I could tell when he got to the emergency room it scared him to death. So they kept be for a couple of days...sent me home with these new drugs for seizure disorder (which add to the moodiness already involved) and 12 hours later I started throwing up and couldn't stop so I landed back in NIH for 4-5 days.

During this time the Doctors all agreed that it was time to take Scott off of Chemo and put him on radiation treatments. This would keep me from entering the hospital for multiple stays and since it seemed to have done it's job on the grand scale then maybe the pinpointed radiation would help my body heal better.

Anyway I managed to get through the show without incident saw some people I hadn't seen in a while and felt a little more independent. I felt so good in fact that I got up this morning and fixed breakfast for Clayton before he left for rehearsal. I also now don't feel like this weekend while he is at rehearsal is all about Scott being babysat...it's more like just getting to hang with my friends and that the possibility of a seizure has had it's ass slapped back into a corner. I actually started thinking of things to do and clearing out my head. WHICH by the way allowed me to come up with my PURPOSE!!!!!

I'm going to start a non-profit organization called F.A.C.T.S. It stands for Fight All Cancer Through Service. It has been rolling around in my brain for the past week. Clayton and I heard about this little girl in Alexandria (VA) who had to have a kidney removed due to Cancer. The father (who is in Single Father Status) had to quit his job to take care of her and they were having a fund raiser to help support them....This got me to thinking...all the funds raised for Cancer research is great BUT...they don't help out with things like, Rides to the hospital, Food buying or preparation, etc...up to more than a dozen things I could think of...so F.A.C.T.S. is falling into place in my head and starting this weekend I start to put it on paper.

If anyone knows a good pro bono lawyer who will help me with the 501 c 3 paperwork please send them my way and keep an eye out for emails coming your way asking for help. I'm going to want this to be more than a donation type organization...I want to create lists of real people who want to get involved like they did with me. Let's help go grocery shopping, let's take the caretaker and the patient out for dinner if they want or even cook for them...Let's offer to look in and walk the pets...This is more than just throwing money at a situation (even tho' we will need that) this is about coming together and being of service.

Man do I feel better today I really did come out of the Dark.

I love you all for being there and for listening.

S