Saturday, April 12, 2008

You're Never Gonna Believe This One

I'm currently in the hospital, and I'm not doing the typing. One of my students is typing for me because I am so tired and weak that I cannot do it for myself, and I am way behind.

So let's start with the new round of Chemo. It was on a Wednesday, April 2nd (you're gonna laugh at this . . . I'm being interviewed by the nurse while I am doing this . . . multi-tasking). They gave me the Chemo without a problem but they also had to give me a spinal tap of something called Mexceltrethate, which I had a reaction to. It caused something called Arachnoiditis- it is one of the linings of the spinal cord in the brain. It caused inflammation and massive headaches, and it has lasted for the past ten days. So they had to give me something else when they had to do another spinal tap Chemo injection. This is part of the routine, but apparently, rarely some people develop reactions like I did. I don't know what the name of the new drug is, but today is the first day that the pain in my head has been manageable.

On Monday, the 7th, I came into the hospital to have bloodwork done and they kept me. I was dehydrated. So I was here all day getting an IV fluid and they sent me home. Still had the headache, but they said it would go away. Now I don't want you to think that these doctors are bad. They aren't. They are actually quite awesome. But like all good doctors they gave me drugs to get rid of the headache. These drugs have a side effect- dehydration and constipation. So on Thursday when I came to pick up my shot supplies, they took one look at me and decided that I needed some more help. And, once again, I was in the day hospital. I forgot to go home with the shot stuff. In the meantime, during all of this, I have been incredibly sick and weak.

Clayton, bless his heart, tries to do the best he can. But I think he is a little frustrated. Actually I am pretty sure he is because I read his blogs, and I think this is getting to him as much as it is getting to me. And to be honest I am not sure how much more of this I can take. I hate not eating. I have lost 5 punds in a week. I have mouth sores from the medication and this morning I had a fever. Now this is where you're gonna laugh again, the same student who is typing this out agreed to take me up here to get my shot stuff and it was only supposed to take an hour (because I forgot it on Thursday when I left). The nurses, on the ball as usual, took one look at me and decided to take my vitals, some blood, and now I'm admitted for the next few days. Only me, right?

I have what's called Neutrapenia. I'm anemic and I have about 38 white blood cells. The cause of this is that they gradually increase the Chemo each time and this is to be expected for this time in the course of my treatment. The doctor on call was happy that I had come in when I did so we caught it early. I've sitll got a bit of a fever. I've got an IV in me. And they game me antibitotics. I'm tryhing to eat. It looks really good . . . baked salmon with carrots and green beans, but I'm slow to eat. And not because of the food. The food is actually quite good. But the sores in my mouth stop me from eating too fast.

I have to tell you between the sickness itself and everything else going on, I'm just not sure I want to finish this up. Clayton called me back after he had found out that I was going to go into the hospital. He said, "I think I forgot something." I asked, "What was that?" He said, "I love you." I was crying like a baby at that statement. I guess you can't go wrong with that kind of support. Even with my student sitting next to me showing support, it's really hard. I guess I'm supposed to take it one day at a time, but this one really threw me for a loop. Well, before I become a blubbering baby and somebody's fingers become really tired I'm going to sign off for now.

Love, peace, and light.

Scott

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Scott,
We are all so proud of you for being so brave and sharing this part of your life with us. Take one moment at a time. Our thoughts, prayers, and love are with you always. Love, Rachael Hubbard

Katy said...

Scott, be strong!! I can't even imagine what you are going through...but you are SO loved!! You are a good person who deserves all the good things in life. Dan and I are pulling for you. We continually keep you in our thoughts and prayers. If there is anything we can do, let us know. We love you.

Susan said...

Scott, this is Katy's mom Susan. I've been reading your and Clayton's blog to!(Hope you don't mind) I can't imagine what you are going through, and with good humor to boot! Keep on fighting, my thoughts and prayers are with you too. It sounds like you have many friends and family who love and care for you.

Good Luck

Anonymous said...

Hey, Scott, this is Emilie, Denise's sister....been keeping up with how you're doing. Getting well is a process and a process takes time; when you feel so awful, time seems eternal, but it is still 60 seconds = 1 minute. You are a spirited person and have a lot of inner strength. This, too, shall pass and you'll be feeling better and looking back at this "bump" in the road. You are in my prayers, as is Clayton. Love to you both. Emilie.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking of you both...every day!
Much love,
Kat

Anonymous said...

Scott,

I keep track of you and know this is hard for you as it would be for anyone. I am so glad they did catch this latest episode early. Maybe you were supposed to "forget" the shots to take home so you would have to go back when you did...

I feel bad that I haven't gotten any cards out to you or Clayton. I TRULY want to. I DO keep you in prayers every day and whenever thru the day you come into mind. I put you on my church's prayer list so there are many others praying for you. too. Hope it helps for you to know that.

You WILL get thru this. Just remember to laugh and "breathe"! Those were two things you worked hard to get me to remember to do when I was feeling stressed. So, I am just politely reminding you although it sounds like you already are doing those things.

God Bless!

Anonymous said...

Hey Scott, I finally got a chance to check out your blog and here you are in the hosp...! I love you and think about you all the time. I'm grateful that Clayton is taking good care of you and letting you know often how much you are loved! I know you have heard it many times before, but it is my mantra..."This too shall pass"! Also know how much all of us in your whole famdamly love you, love you, love you. I miss you lots, and you know, you're kind of HOT bald! smile..then lol! LOVE YOU HONEY! A.Ronda

Unknown said...

I sure am glad I talked to you on the phone before I read this last blog! I would have been panic stricken. Hang in there sweetie, you will soon be thru with it all and feeling normal again. Want to guess what kind of hair will grow back? They say it is always different after chemo is done.
Love you,
MOM

Margie said...

Scott,

Thinking of you today and sending a heart full of wishes for strenth, for healing, for love, for peace. Hang on baby, keep going. You are so loved. Margie