This is gonna be short as i'm weak, tired and not in a great frame of mind. I read Clayton's blog and he asked how do I do it...well I'll tell you the truth...I cry when know one is around and then convice myself that this will be over eventually and that I just have to keep going and then I turn on the TV or put in a movie and wait for something to happen like Clayton coming to visit...(Which I live for) just having him here boosts my spirits like you wouldn't believe.
I try to meditate during one of my meditations it occurred to me that I don't really pray while I'm in the hospital. It could be all the drugs I don't know. But it does bother me that I don't remember to do it. I was having hallucinations earlier in the week and the Nurontin makes me a blank slate. Clayton also mentioned something about me not complaining....Believe me I'd like to but what good does it do....the staff here does the best they can with what they have to work with. I'm not going to add to their stress by bitching about things they have no control over.
Well I'm gonna end for now the nurse is going to bring me some nausea medicine (Adavan) they shoot it straight into my iv and I take a little nap.
Maybe more later.
Scott
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7 comments:
You have every right to complain! I'm so glad that you have Clayton, I seriously think he is fantastic...you guys work great together. Just know that even if you aren't remembering to pray, we pray for you. In fact, Ellie prayed for your brain the other night...are you feeling smarter? :)
We love you, call or email us anytime.
hi scott, words may fail me, but my heart never does. we think of you both daily, and always send loving, healing energy to you.
when you see clayton, please surprise him with a kiss; then tell him it is from rishi. know that we are holding you close in our hearts.
although we have only met once,...i was touched by your spirit. it is always love at first sight for me (if it is going to happen). i love you..rishi
Katy Please tell Ellie thanks for praying for my brain. I couldn't ask for a sweeter prayer from such an innocent loving child.
Rishi,
Thanks so much,for the healing energy! I did as you asked and gave him the kiss...-giggle-
scott i can't wait to see you next weekend. when ever i think that my life isn't worth much i look to those who love me and except me the way i am. i love you. i hope that you are still up to us coming.
While I have not seen you in a few weeks I think about you (and Clayton and the babies, of course)every day. If I am not mistaken you are home again and I am hoping and praying that you stay away from the overnighters at NIH from here on out. Tell the nurses to come and visit you for a change. : )
Keep doing your thang and check out your Platysma when you need a pick me up. Afterall, that is one of your strongest moves. : )
I will talk to you soon. Love you and miss you.
Remember that prayer is more of a spiritual activity than a mental activity (if I may be so bold as to even attempt to categorize prayer) and even if your mind forgets to pray, that doesn't mean that your spirit has. That might sound really sappy, but a few years ago I was out sledding (yes, like a little kid) on a really icy winter day and I got thrown probably 10 feet in the air and 20-30 feet in distance. During my flight, I wasn't able to formulate a prayer in my mind, but my spirit was able to trust God in that moment and be peaceful. So, instead of panicking or flailing or stiffening, I ended up just relaxing into the fall and coming out the other end with only some bruises.
My point is that your mind might fail you due to distractions or drugs or whatever, but your spirit is stronger than your mind and will take over the praying when your mind can't do it anymore. I hope that all made sense. :)
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