What a difference a day makes

Start time 10:00 am

Alright I know...it's been more than a week since I last wrote...but let me tell you this being sick stuff is a pain in the butt. There are days that I lay here in bed and say as soon as I get the energy, I will write an entry into my blog...then some times when I'm thinking about things I think I should put that in the blog...well so much for that! There is a list in my head and in the interest of getting them out of my head so I can move on to something else I'm going to spend the entire day today probably getting them into this blog.

So last week I was doing what I always do lay in bed, watch a little TV, and get ideas in my head about things I can do...Like I joined the Martha Stewart website. I love it. She has some great ideas. Then of course I watch Regis and Kelly just 'cause they are so funny! but what I have noticed is that all these showes give stuff away to the audience. There is also the VIEW which Clayton hates but I love watching those women go back and forth like hens in the henhouse (OK a little redneck of me but it's my blog so get over it.)

But then there is the Ellen show.

I just have to talk about this woman...she is amazing! A lot like OPRAH, who I like, she's generous in her own right and while quite famous for it, she grows her kingdom through this...while Ellen is just not only generous, and genuine. I get such a great feeling about her and for all that she is hysterically funny and doesn't seem to want anything more than to make people happy. She just gives away tons of stuff and she raises money for tons of different charities and just makes me want to help people...it got me to thinking about generosity and waxing philisophical about purpose. I seem to be still wanting to make a difference. There is so much out there that a person can doand how do you decide? I would love to be able to be like Ellen and give... give... give... but right now that's not possible. However, I think that I can still be generous to people and give them what ever I can to help.

So that led me down the thought path of things I could do so of course I will be helping when and where I can for the lymphoma society, for all the obvious reasons, I would like to help the poor children in our country only because I think that there is enough world charity going on, that I would like to help out those closer to home. The glee and happiness at this thought process put me in a great mood and I actually felt good and then I actually slept well.

Of course the next Day was a whole different story. Talk about bitchy!! Whiny....in my head of course since I don't want to put it all on Clayton...yet I still lashed out and said something to the effect of I hate my life...he was within earshot...not good...He lashed back with I'm sorry that I'm so hard on you...I didn't mean that he was included in that of course I just was feeling lowsy and in pain and so of course I had to apologize for that! Crap!!!!! Yea I'm tired of this stuff but it doesn't mean that I'm any less appreciative of everything he does!

So I'm still feeling like crap...and a side effect of the shots are that they can cause mouth sores and for 2 days I've had that on top of everything else...it hurts to eat...but I get through.

OK on to something nice...Thursday we were given comp tickets to see A New Brain in MD...we needed to get out of the house and do something before we killed each other; so this was perfect. I didn't feel much like it but I put on my mask and my cancer hat and went for it! The show was awsome and the actors and music was briliant. I can't tell you how much it lifted my spirits! I saw people I hadn't seen in a while and the show was about a man who has a stroke and may die and what goes on in his head with a giant singing frog and such. I love musicals and some of it hit close to home in the words and feeling of the songs I was totally elated at the end and I got to meet with the cast.

Right here I want to tell you about the Cast....Andy Izquierdo was the lead and he is one of the most brilliant musical theater actors, with a stunning vocal range, I've ever had the pleasure of knowing...I've never seen him in a straight play (that's one without music) but I have seen many performances of his and he is AWESOME!!! Lisa Anne Bailey once again gave an outstanding performance as his mother and I've yet to see a bad performance from her...she is one of my all time favorites! Ryan Khatcheressian played Roger and he was once again brilliant and always has perfect chemistry with Andy...two of my friends Dave Moretti and Susanna Todd (who I worked with in Cinderella) were just awsome and if you can and know her...check out Susanna's saucy new haircut!!! She looks positivly HOT! Speaking of hair and makeup one of my best buddies Kat Brais did make up and hair and I loved seeing her she is the nicest sweetest person and I just love her!

Not to leave anyone out...I do want to mention that Katie Pond, as the homeless lady was absolutuly wonderful and has a beautiful voice....Karissa Swanigan and Randall Jones were just cute and wonderful as the Nurse and Frog respectfully and Duane Monahan and Tim Adams rounded out the cast quite nicely with great acting and voices...all around I give it 2 very big thumbs up!!! I loved it...

I got an offer to see another show from some other friends. I originally told them that I probably couldn't since I would be on an IV bag of chemo...but I want to go and I've got to go if it's on a night that I'm not hooked to an IV bag...cause I need it...This house is making me nuts being closed up...I just sit/lay here uncomfortable and feeling like crap...it's spring Dammit and I'm feeling the burn!!! I'm sure Clayton is as well. He's been packing stuff up and putting tons of boxes into the storage unit for when we move. It gives him something to do while I'm in bed moaning from the pain. I know he can't wait to get out of this house as much as I can.

Speaking of moves that was the other thing we did...I donned the mask and went with our realtor to see a few houses. It was a very nice day and we saw some that we liked. However, we can't see any this weekend because of being low on white blood cells...but next week we can. it was so nice to get out...I see a theme here...but now I'm under orders to stay inside until my blood test on Monday....ugh.

So now for today, yet another 24 hours and I've felt like hell all day...my mom called and that was great I love it when people call...I got a couple of cards in the mail one of them from the office and it was loaded with signatures from everyone I work with...my best friend, her husband and baby, will come for a very short visit...I Started season two of Star Trek Voyager on DVD...Clayton got all 7 seasons for me for christmas and I'm slowly working through them...did I mention that I've already gone through all 3 seasons of the Wonder Woman TV show? So much for another day it's a little after 4 pm and it took me all day to write this since I've had to take so many breaks with the whole feeling bad thing...but there is always tomorrow and once again this strange catharsis of writing has cleared my head and made me feel better. It's 5:30 and my visitors just left and I'm done for this round....

Peace and love
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